Ok, a slightly off-topic thread but a good one never the less. What are the best double-entendres you have heard? Ill start with a couple:

1. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!


2. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator:

'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'


3. US PGA Commentator:

'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'


4. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:

'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'


5. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

A couple more

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a
lovely horse and I speak from personal experience
since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my
parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been
injuries,and even some deaths in boxing,
but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats
itself, I should think we can expect the
same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot
and the opposition doesn't like it. In
fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't
that nice, the wife of the IOC president is
hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere.
It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

Here is a good one, read the highlighted part:

My personal favourite is:

Brian Johnston, cricket commentator

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"

A very very handsome, witty and intelligent male C grader was heard to say "I started lactating when I went up over the bridge" at racing last Saturday. What an absolute numpty!